What are reframes in EFT Tapping?
“Everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.”
That quote got me through my early teen years – between the onset of my anxiety diagnosis, living with daily migraines that led me to missing a full semester of high school, and living in a home where my parents’ marriage was questionable – I needed something to tell me that there was a way through the pain and stress I lived with.
Because for a while, it didn’t feel like anything was ever going to be better.
And as a struggling teenager does, I spent a lot of time on social media reading quotes about mental health – searching for an answer of how I could feel good again.
That’s when I read “Everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end. - John Lennon” for the first time.
As an adult who is happier after years of focused work on my mental health and finding what truly supports me, I’ve revisited that quote. I’m so glad teenage Margaret had that piece of hope from those words.
That reminder got me through many painful moments.
Recently, I learned there is an older quote from a book published in 1988 – O tabuleiro de damas (The Checkerboard) by Fernando Sabino.
“No fim, tudo dá certo. Se não deu, ainda não chegou ao fim."
Which translates in English to, “In the end, everything works out. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end yet.”
Can we agree on two things?
One: language is one of the coolest things. To know we’re all communicating similar ideas with completely different words, shapes, and sounds – beauty.
Two: quotes like this can offer us a new perspective and in some cases, save us.
And if you have a favorite quote or reframe that speaks to you, you can bring it into your EFT practice.
What is a reframe in EFT?
A reframe is a part of a Set Up Statement – and if you’ve read my post about What is EFT, you know the formula of this statement is: addressing what you feel + a reframe
The reframe is inspired by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) where you’re noticing and changing unhelpful thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. A part of CBT is challenging your thinking patterns.
The reframe in EFT is a way we incorporate new perspective, acceptance, compassion, and openness to feeling different as we’re tapping.
Think of it this way: reframes give your body something new to consider as it’s processing those “I’m okay” signals from the actual tapping of each point.
Why do we use reframes in EFT Tapping?
“I deeply and completely love and accept myself” – this is the classic OG reframe in EFT.
You might also hear “I deeply and completely accept myself.”
The reason these are the classic reframes is the “accept” in the phrase. Let’s go back to the basics: EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques and the premise of it is to give you emotional freedom.
How do you get emotional freedom? When you accept that you have emotions, you are human, and you experience uncomfortable or distressing emotions. Acceptance of these facts = no more being controlled by your emotions.
And if you tell yourself “I deeply and completely love and accept myself” as you start the tapping round, your body and all your parts of self will consider this reframe as a possibility.
But, let’s be honest – sometimes it’s hard to accept ourselves. If you’re not there yet, I don’t want you to force yourself to feel differently.
As an EFT practitioner who deeply values being honest, I’m not going to force you into a reframe that doesn’t feel true – that completely goes against what EFT is about.
This is when we use different reframes.
Examples of other reframes
COMPASSION FOCUSED
I have compassion for myself and how I feel
Maybe I can show myself some compassion
I’m going to be gentle with myself
It’s okay I feel this way
It makes sense I feel this way
SAFETY FOCUSED
Right here and now I’m okay
That was then, this is now
I’m not there anymore
I’m present in this moment
My body is safe here in this moment
CURIOSITY FOCUSED
I’m open to seeing how my feelings change
I’m going to follow this with curiosity
I’m open to showing my body something new
I’m open to showing myself compassion
I’m open to learning to accept myself and my feelings
And if none of these feel right – find what does feel right. Say a quote you like that feels empowering and supportive. Use a realization you had about the topic.
Or just breathe knowing it’s completely okay to feel (you’re a human doing a human thing — feeling!)
Giving an alternative reframe a try next time you tap? I want to know how it goes! Send me a DM on Instagram @growthbymargaret
Thinking about working with an EFT Practitioner who isn’t going to force you to say “I’m 100% okay and everything is fine!” when you’re not okay and it’s not fine? Get the details on my one-on-one EFT Tapping sessions!
