Love Letter to My Fellow Sensitive People
“You’re too sensitive”
If you had told me that at any point before getting my driver’s license, good-bye. I’m immediately crying and questioning what is wrong with me.
Young Margaret was, in fact, sensitive, and…
That sentence had the power to make me never want to show any type of emotion ever again! And it did for a while (but more on that later)
Every time I heard that growing up, alarms went off in my head that were shouting at me:
Oh no, they won’t like me anymore
Wait, I knew there was something wrong with me!!
Where is the closest bathroom because I need to cry in private
And my response to that “you’re too sensitive” observation was being sensitive about it! A serious never ending cycle.
Until I was 14 years old, seeing my first ever healer - yay for mental health access - and thinking this would all be sooooo much easier if I never felt anything ever again.
In perfect teenage-ness I declared to myself and the world that nothing can hurt me and I don’t care about anything.
Yes, my mom still reminds me of this phase because if you know me, it is truly so opposite to who I am to my core (hello taurus moon and cancer rising - I was born to be sensitive!).
But this protection shield of “I don’t care about anything” stopped the “you’re too sensitive” remarks that made me want to hide and never be seen again.
It turned into “wow you’re handling things really well” and I love compliments so it was the perfect turn around for me.
Until I no longer enjoyed things because I didn’t care and I closed my heart off from feeling anything. I didn’t want to feel ANYTHING. If I could have drained all the human out of me? That’s what I was going for.
And it made life feel bland. Like someone did not put nearly enough salt in this food so I’m eating cardboard bland and it leaked out everywhere.
I missed the beauty and joy of life.
So, I had to get real with myself: me being sensitive made me sensitive to beauty!!
It makes eating an orange in my kitchen feel like I had the best day of my life.
Sensitivity means I get to smile extra when I talk to people I love and care about.
It means a simple walk with my dog Luna feels like a vacation.
Because I’m giving myself permission to feel everything! The wide range of being human. And yes, that means I am sensitive, and that is one of my favorite things about me.
I would love to be able to tell you this switch happened as fast as it took you reading this blog post, but it did not!
A huge piece of accepting my sensitivity was found in connecting with myself with EFT Tapping - because as you tap, you are saying how you feel with a moment of acceptance that can sound like:
“Maybe it’s okay I’m sensitive”
“I have compassion for myself and how I feel”
“It makes sense I feel this way”
And maybe not all of you is on board with that yet, but if you keep showing up for yourself, being sensitive won’t be an “I have to go cry in the bathroom” level offense.
It will be “yes I am.”
TAP TO ACCEPT YOUR SENSITIVE PARTS
Find a comfortable place to rest for 5 minutes. Give yourself privacy to sit with yourself minus any distractions (the to-do list can wait) & get a piece of paper or use the notes app on your phone.
And if you’re reading this when you can’t do it, go set a reminder to come back to this blog post and practice this later.
(...did you actually set the reminder? Yes! Perfect let’s continue)
Write down the phrase “you’re too sensitive”
As you read that phrase, is there any part of you that is cringing? Feeling like you want to tell me to shut up? Feeling bad?
Write that down! And notice where it is in your body.
You’re too sensitive
Cringe in my shoulders
And rate how strong that feeling in the body is on a scale of 0-10. 0 being not there at all. 10 being the strongest.
You’re too sensitive
(body sensation) Cringe in my shoulders - 7
And tap along with the below words. (say out loud or in your mind - literally whatever you want!)
Side of the hand:
Even though I feel this (body sensation), I’m open to accepting how I feel
Even though I feel this (body sensation), I have compassion for myself
Even though I feel this (body sensation), I accept and love myself
Top of the head:
I feel a (body sensation)
Eyebrow:
You’re too sensitive
Side of eye:
I feel a (body sensation)
Under eye:
I feel a (body sensation)
Under nose:
You’re too sensitive
Chin:
You’re too sensitive
Collarbone:
I feel a (body sensation)
Under arm:
I feel a (body sensation)
Have never tapped before and feeling like “Margaret - I have no idea what these points are”? Read this blog post to learn how to tap!
Now take a breath. Look back at what you wrote on the page. Did the feeling change when you read the sentence?
Write down your new number.
You’re too sensitive
Cringe in my shoulders - 7/3
And repeat as many times as you want or until the number is 0.
Did anything surprising come up as you did this practice? DM me on Instagram or send me an email at margaret@growthbymargaret.com
AN EXTRA LOVE LETTER FOR MY SENSITIVE PEOPLE
If I could travel back and speak directly to younger Margaret AND tell you the exact same thing, I would say: being sensitive is not a bad thing. It’s a part of you that deserves to be celebrated.
And if you’re still like “okay Margaret sure”
Let’s talk about evidence of why it’s actually an amazing and beautiful quality!
Your sensitivity allows you to deeply experience how precious this life truly is.
It makes eating an orange in your kitchen feel like you had the best day of your life.
Sensitivity means you get to smile extra when you talk to people you love and care about.
It means a simple walk outside under the sun feels like a vacation.
AND being able to experience a wide range of emotions with different levels of intensity, only makes you more human.
If your super sensitive inner child needed to hear this today, my work is for you. All of your parts, emotions, and expressions – I have room for you.
Thinking about working with someone and need to know you’re allowed to be “sensitive”, then my one-on-one EFT sessions are for you.
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