Why do we tap on the negative?
It’s time for us to be HONEST – and I’m about to start begging you to do so.
If you’re not in the mood to get real with yourself and your feelings, you have two choices: read this blog post anyway or come back when you are ready to be honest.
Okay – with that disclaimer out of the way! I want to talk with you about the big question everyone has about EFT tapping: why do we tap on the negative?
And of course, that question also comes with: doesn’t it reinforce the negative?? What if I just want to tap on affirmations?
If you have ever had these questions or doubts when it comes to using EFT or leaning into the “negative”, then you are exactly where you need to be today and this blog post is for you.
And wait – do you know what EFT tapping is? Read this blog post for a refresher! (link to blog post what is EFT)
Why do we tap on the negative?
So, we have to pause right here and I want to ask you – who told you your emotions were negative?
Some emotions may feel more positive or negative, helpful or painful, nourishing or tiring. This is all true.
But your emotions are not inherently negative or bad. They are just emotions. And you deserve healing spaces where you are allowed to show up as you are. With how you honestly feel – even if it’s a “negative” emotion like sadness or anger.
P.S. Real talk: if you are going to a healer of any kind and they tell you your emotions are “bad” or you’re making things worse by saying you feel a certain way, please run. Immediately. Healing spaces should allow you space to be honest.
Which leads me to why we tap on the “negative” in EFT?
Well, it’s because we are being honest! Honest about what is bringing up distressing emotions or body sensations.
Because EFT tapping is sending signals to your nervous system and brain that you are okay and the thing you’re focusing on is not a threat.
So, the more specific we get – the more honest we get – about what is bringing up the distress, the more the brain and body will associate peace and calm with that trigger.
Let’s talk through an example:
Imagine you got a text from your friend saying “you were extremely annoying today” and it hurts to read that.
You could tap with the “I’m not annoying” or “Everyone loves me” affirmations. But it won’t tell your body that even if someone thinks you’re annoying, you are still safe and not in danger.
If you were to tap with the focus of “my friend texted me and said ‘you were extremely annoying today,’” your body will start to realize that your friend thinking your annoying isn’t an immediate threat to your safety or life.
And if while you tap with the truth of what your friend said WITH how you feel about it. Whether you feel: hurt, angry, upset, shame, exhausted. You are telling the body that even when you experience emotions like that, you are still whole and okay.
You are showing yourself compassion by being honest. You are making space for your emotions. You are allowing yourself to fully be yourself without forcing yourself into a different expression or story.
So, next time you go to use EFT, tap on what happened that is bringing up the feeling and tap on how you are honestly feeling about it.
You will receive so much more benefits that way. And you will be honest about how you feel – which amplifies relief because you get to breathe.
Does tapping reinforce the negative?
Short answer – no.
Long answer – no because tapping is telling our body we are safe even though there is a trigger. That the trigger is not a threat. And those signals to the body are helping us create an association with peace instead of a heavy emotional reaction.
And there’s studies that show this happens!
In one study of 83 people, they found a 24.4% decrease in cortisol levels after one EFT session. Compared to a 14.2% decrease for counseling and 0.6% in no-treatment controls. The study was replicated where they found a larger cortisol decrease of 43%.
What if I just want to tap on affirmations?
You can! There’s techniques that bring in affirmations into the face points to help reinforce the shifts that happened when acknowledging how you feel.
But I want to encourage you to sit with how you feel first. Without any agenda to feel 100% happy or optimistic about something that is painful. Without forcing yourself to “i’m completely fine” when you’re not there yet!
Use EFT tapping on how you feel > see how your emotions and feelings about a trigger changes as you tap > then tap into those shifts to let it anchor in.
What do you think — how do you feel about tapping on the negative? Send me a DM on Instagram and let me know!
Interested in giving EFT Tapping a try? Let’s work together!
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